Monday, October 4, 2010

The next chapter




I am counting down the days until October 11th.  That is the day I start the next chapter in the story of my life.  I know, that sounds dramatic, but I'm feeling sort of dramatic today (and for those of you who know me, I'm not really a drama queen!).  Let me explain.

When I last wrote, I was awaiting word on whether or not I had landed a full time advertising job.  A few days after that post, I got the news that yes, I had the job.  I am truly ecstatic about this opportunity for a number of reasons, not the least of which being that I will be able to do my job in my pajamas some days.  I will be working from home and traveling to Philadelphia fairly regularly, meeting with Atlanta media folks, and putting back on a hat I had taken off over five years ago.  It feels good...I loved my former career and I'm excited to be back in a world that was never dull, never lazy.

However....and this is a BIG however....as I type this,  I'm only six days from the start of this new job for which I have to travel to Philadelphia and spend the better part of a week away from my family.  My mind is wandering in a million different directions (which is causing me to consume a great amount of chocolate).   I feel like I have to accomplish a year's worth of cleaning/appointments/etc. in these last few days at home.  You know how we (and by "we" I mean "moms") are...trying to plan every minute detail of life.  I mean, for example, I am seriously thinking I might pack 5 days worth of lunches for my 13 year old son (minus the sandwich, because that would be gross) so my husband won't have to think about that each morning at 6am while I'm gone.  Really?  I'm pretty sure I'm not giving my husband enough credit and he can throw a bag of Doritos, a Little Debbie brownie and a Gatorade in a lunch bag just as quickly as I can.  Or can he?  Will he also put in the extra love that no one really knows is there, but me?  Will he think to himself "hmmm, I sent Doritos yesterday, so today for a treat, I'll throw in Cheetos instead..."??  This is the stuff that bothers me.

So now I'm spending this week trying to neatly wrap up my "stay-at-home-be-a-photographer-and-mom" life.  I'm taking the 10 year old to the orthodontist. I'm editing photo sessions with adorable children.  I'm volunteering at the school because God knows when that will happen again. I'm lunching with friends.  I'm cleaning out closets and switching the summer clothes for fall clothes.  I MIGHT mop the floor (or I might not get to that one).  And the whole time, I'm thinking to myself "OMG, I don't know if I can do it all again!" in between bouts of extreme happiness, anxiety, joy and sadness.

But I can do it and I will do it because I have a family that I love and who loves me back.  And I have chocolate.

1 comment:

  1. XOXO cutie pie! really proud of you and know this is a hard decision for you. love you much!

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